Me against Myself

My mind seems to be wired to believe that living twice is how it should be done. And I’m beginning to work up the courage to disagree, wondering if it’s spending half my life anticipating the other half.
What I often find this delinquent doing is, screening a preview of the script before it plays out in real life. Nestled in those Lazy-Boy chairs (complete with the giant tub of popcorn), it indulges in the prospect of what it expects will be pleasurable, and after a short intermission, returns to sit through the anticipation of what might not.

My attempt to understand this desire for a sneak peek led me to realize the reason is fairly obvious and a result of basal instincts. To me it appears to be a little of each of the following:
1. Curiosity
We don’t seem to learn from the proverbial cat. From sticking fingers into electric sockets as children, to trying to figure women as adults (notice I don’t say The Universe or Quantum Physics, because apparently more people, the fairer sex included, believe understanding women ranks higher on the difficulty scale), we always want to learn; and best when by experience. “What happens when I do this” being the mantra that guides us through life. The 5 Ws & 1 H make an appearance in every aspect of our living.
2. Delayed Pleasure
This term I borrow from Dan Gilbert. The human mind has a tendency to increase pleasure by delaying gratification. What that involves is pushing up something we know will feel good, because even thinking about us does wonders to lift the spirit. In an attempt to revel in that state of bliss, we like to think, a lot, about things in the future that make us happy. And if possible, move them up further into the future, just so we can continue to day dream about the tremendous joy that their occurrence will bring us. Twisted, I know, but oh so true.
3. Preparedness
And finally, self preservation. This works very well for the stuff we dread or that we’re uncertain of. We like to think through all the possible ways the events might play out (playing the What If game), just so we won’t be caught off guard. As conventional wisdom goes, “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst”.

However compelling the reasons though, the wayward behavior of this recalcitrant very often proves a little tiresome. And as it turns out doesn’t always have the intended effect. A lot of how you feel about something is determined by the moment you’re supposed to be doing the feeling in. So when you extrapolate, while the mind is thinking of events in the future, the body is very much in the present. Since what you think is heavily biased by what you feel, your version of the future is richly coloured by the present you’re in. As a result, chances are the future you’re conjuring up right now, may turn out to be, and more importantly feel, very little like what you’re imagining.

I realize it isn’t easy to keep something as potent and intractable as the human brain from doing as it pleases. But I also believe that a conscious effort, every now and then, to bring the mind back to the present will afford a little peace of mind, and maybe even return a little of that half a lifetime. Keeping yourself in a spin with things to do is a good start, but a little mental discipline appears to go a long way (a tad difficult, given what you’re trying to reign in is the very thing you’re going to have to use to accomplish that task) to preserving sanity.

Then again, all of this could just be the mind tricking me into believing I might have a say.

PS
No, I wasn’t listening to Jay Sean when the title struck me. Although I do confess to enjoying that album.
PPS
Despite what it might seem like, I have absolutely nothing against my mind. I just wish sometimes, it weren’t so much of a bully.